Loneliness VS Aloneness...For most of my life I never knew there was a difference. And for most of my life, I deeply suffered in my loneliness. I always felt I didn’t belong in this world...how could people do those things to each other? Am I the only one who feels this way? Why can’t anyone understand who I really am?...these were the thoughts that ate me up from the inside.
5 years ago everything changed for me. While all my friends went off to college, I jumped into the unknown and faced my greatest fear: being completely and utterly alone. So alone in fact, that I was living on a new continent, in a new country, in a small small village in the middle of the Andes mountains, with a new family who couldn’t understand one word I said. But I have to tell you, being THAT alone was the greatest gift I’ve ever given to myself. Because for the first time in my life, I was forced to be with MYSELF.
And I realized something profound: that in my entire LIFE- I had never been allowed to be alone with me. Every single distraction imaginable had been thrown onto me by society, all to ensure that I would never get to find out who I really was. That I would never explore my own inner space. All of the lights, screens, sounds, voices and messages screaming at me DON’T GO INSIDE. ITS A SCARY THING TO BE ALONE. YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE TO BE OK. Finally, I went there, to the depth of my self...just to find out that couldn’t be further from the truth.
There was nothing scary about being alone! In fact, the fear itself was the monster all along. The programmed NEED of others love and approval is more scary than aloneness could ever be. There is no other person on earth who can fill you up but YOU! Discovering the core of who you are and (seriously) becoming your own best friend is the most EPIC feeling in the world.
Now I know there is a vast difference between loneliness and aloneness. We are all in this journey alone. But we do not need to feel lonely. Loneliness comes from the fear of being with your own self. Aloneness is the power of being grounded in who you are.