Everyone has always seen me as a very happy, positive person. I could always be that for others, but could not for myself. What I most longed for in life - feeling real, true love- felt so out of reach. Incompletions from my childhood were weighing me down and causing me years of anxiety. From being raised in Catholic school and top of my academic class, I left it all behind to search for answers. I moved to Ecuador in 2014 and that’s where my spiritual seeking began. Since then, I have found my guru, discovered the spiritual powerhouse of Hinduism, and moved to India. I have learned what it means to truly live the yogic lifestyle, I have pushed my body to new heights (literally), and broken down everything I thought I knew. Its been one hell of ride and there’s so much left to learn! So thank you for following me along the way. Here’s how it all began…
4 years ago. In May of 2015, I traveled to India to attend a 21 day yoga and meditation retreat called Inner Awakening lead by a guru named Paramahamsa Nithyananda, not even knowing why I said yes to my brother convincing me to come with him. Meditation had become a huge part of my life, and I was dying to see India- so why not right? Keep in mind- I had absolutely no clue who Paramahamsa Nithyananda was... some random guru from India??? I had absolutely zero faith in him as a guru, enlightened master, or as an incarnation (people were crazy for thinking this right?! How could some man on earth be god?).
Its day one of the program, and Swamiji (Paramahamsa Nithyananda) walks through the doors of our hall. I kid you not, I have NEVER felt anything in my life that could compare to that moment. My mind did not have a clue what was going on, but my body felt the energy. I was overtaken with pure bliss and pure gratitude, nothing like I have ever felt. I was balling my eyes out and for the first time in my life I was WHOLE. I was found and felt true, unconditional love for the first time in my life. Because for the first time in my life, I was experiencing the love of the whole cosmos, as he looked into my eyes, smiled, and handed me a flower.
The following weeks I worked intensely on my self. I realized my healing abilities and had my third eye awakened. I cleansed my karmas in the sacred waters of the Ganges River. India expanded my conception of reality into the mystical. I learned and experienced the truth of SHIVOHAM: I Am Divine. I embraced nonviolence and oneness, the core principles of Hinduism.
I know it may be hard for anyone to understand, but I know that you can see it in me now. You can see how I am different, because I am complete. I love myself and I know the cosmos loves me. I have stepped into my power and divinity. Your journey may look a lot different than mine, but I hope you all find this kind of love one day. Sometimes life feels like it is burying us, but just know that once I felt that same way too. No matter what you are going through, the universe loves you too much to even comprehend.
All my love and blessings to you on your journey,